An Open Letter to My Daughter:
Since you flew south this morning to finish the final months of your first year in college, I am writing to tell you that it is not my fault. You weren't here to remind me, so today I might have dangerously driven with the unlawful flow of Detroit traffic, and recklessly switched lanes without using my blinker, and annoyingly tailgated, and stupidly invited crime by typing in my pin# without covering the keypad, and carelessly talked to strangers, and indiscreetly been friendly to men, and embarrassingly danced in the aisle, and annoying sang too loud, and inappropriately used my phone, and unwisely spent money, and ridiculously showed emotion.
But sweet favorite lawfully-controlled daughter of mine, please know that I already miss you like crazy. And because you weren't here to speak out against my mindless crimes, after dropping you off at the airport I took 94 West instead of 94 East, laughing the entire extra thirty minutes home (too busy singing to notice my mistake) just thinking about how you would have rolled your big, beautiful eyeballs right out of your pretty little head while proclaiming in displeasure, "Mother! Please pay attention."
Unlawfully yours, Mom
P.S. For the love of all creatures great and small, come home soon.