Jesus, I'm Falling Apart And I Need You To Hold Me Together

Two years ago I shared these following thoughts on Facebook: 

Hearing of the sexual abuse of women in Iraq who have been stripped naked and publicly shamed (women otherwise required to remain fully veiled) unsettles my stomach as much as my heart. It's horrific. It's symbolic. The Father of Lies is hell-bent on our destruction, dismembering us in order to chew us up and spit us out. What better way to dismember a woman than to isolate her sexuality in a way that makes it the crux of her worth? Whether through shame (cover up!) or through exposure (uncover!), over-sexualization destroys. Modesty is about remaining intact. Modesty is about possessing ourselves with dignity, about commanding a respect and regard for our body, mind and soul. Modesty doesn't either hide or highlight sexuality, because it flows from the heart of a woman who values the entirety of herself too much to diminish or divide herself. May God give us the grace and courage to possess ourselves with an honor and dignity that can never be stripped from us, no matter how much evil we face.

In light of the horrific dismembering of human life that we are experiencing in our country, my words now seem somehow disturbingly prophetic. We are staring evil in the face. Evil that destroys and divides, evil that shatters and splinters.  

Never before have I been so fully aware of how much sin divides. Death by division!  Do you hear the battle cry of the Enemy? It's sounding with a shout of evil as deafening as the overt dismembering of a baby, and with a whisper of wickedness as silent as the subtle dismantling of a friendship. We are immersed in spiritual warfare, and we are desperate for a Savior to hold us together. 

Sin divides my heart. Sin divides my mind. Sin has me falling apart, and I need Jesus to hold me together. I don't want a divided heart that yearns for living water while drinking from the well of the world. I don't want a double mind that chews on the wisdom of the eternal while conforming to the foolishness of the temporal. I want a single heart that fastens its affection and a single mind that fixes its focus. I don't want shattered relationships. I don't want splintered friendships. I want to live as an intact woman who resists being divided, who refuses being fragmented. I want to stand complete with My Redeemer who has promised me life that is exceedingly abundant and fully free.

But I mess up. And I can't hold myself together. I find myself doubleminded, I find my heart divided, I find my relationships splintered. I find myself falling apart. Oh, how I need Jesus.

The attack on family and friendship is about so much more than broken earthly relationship. Every assault on marriage takes aim on the gospel of Jesus Christ, on His sacred promise to hold things together. "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."  It's an assault on the sacrifice and surrender of Christ and the Church within an eternal covenant of unconditional love. Broken marriages. Shattered family relationships. Splintered friendships.

Death by division!

But praise be to our God of Grace, we overwhelm this battle cry with our own declaration of triumph that's stronger and louder than sin: Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!  

And praise be to our God of Grace, this redemption is not found in us. This salvation is not found in our ability to keep our minds and hearts from being divided. This salvation is not found in our ability to keep our relationships from being shattered and our friendships from being splintered. And praise be to our God of Grace, this salvation is not found in our ability to honor our vows and keep our promises.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  Ps 73:26

Our salvation is found in Jesus Christ alone, our Sovereign King and Victor. In the midst of the shattering and the splintering of our brokenness, He is holding us together. In the midst of the dismembering and disgust, in the midst of the division and disappointment, there reigns a Sovereign King who is holding us together even when we're falling apart. 

The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through Him and for Him.

He is before all things

and in Him all things hold together. Col 1:15-17